


Eggcellent Plan!

by FannishMinded



Series: Late Night Tumblr fics [3]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Crack, Doom, Easter Eggs, Humor, M/M, No Beta, Unhealthy Relationships, dub con if you squint, gif based, old fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-01
Updated: 2015-02-01
Packaged: 2018-03-09 23:10:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3267815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FannishMinded/pseuds/FannishMinded
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Link to tumblr gifset that inspired this- <br/>http://fannishminded.tumblr.com/post/20621959330/cackles-oh-god-fic-idea-seb-jim-shamelessly</p><p>Cleaned up the ficlet from there... in short: </p><p>Sebastian comes home to find Jim zoned out while painting <em>easter eggs</em>, of all things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eggcellent Plan!

Sebastian stops just inside the door. He’d been out for two weeks on a set of assassinations that had rocked the political world and destroyed three political parties chances of winning. In short he was exhausted and totally unprepared for the sight of his boss… painting eggs in his flat.

He blamed the exhaustion completely for his next words. He’d have been smarter to just check the kitchen first in retrospect.

"Jim? What the hell?" Sebastian croaked out blinking and taking in the drop cloth laid out on his wood floor, stacks of plastic milk crates and the TV tray all groaning with paint pallets and cups and what had to be five dozen eggs covering every surface.

Jim, the madman that for three years had ordered him personally to perform more assassinations than he had managed total kills while in the actual military… just looked up with a zoned out expression and gave an absent smile before looking at the cooking show doing a special on easter eggs and then turning that scarily blank and intensely focused look back to his work.

Jim sometimes got aggressive, and sometimes he got just plain horny.There was almost no warning which he would be when he burst into Sebastian’s flat.

Sebastian had slowly learned to deal with Jim’s moodswings and moments, and he even liked most of the aggressive sex. He’d come to anticipate the visits as they increased to almost weekly events over the last year.

This was just plain _freaky_ though.

"Seriously, Jim, what are you doing?" He kept his voice calm as he closed the door and set the case and bag onto the floor under the coat hooks.

Jim barely looked up with his eyes alone and swapped paint brushes… doing white dots and dashes on a white egg for some ungodly reason.

Sebastian was starting to get a bit worried. And considering his boss could take out half of Europe with a single order, his worries of something big having happened to the man were not unfounded.

"What are the eggs for?" He stepped a bit closer, peering at the eggs that had been completed while still keeping a loose eye on Jim.

Arresting reds, pale pastel yellows, a true rainbow of brilliant easter eggs all pained delicately, all beautiful if a bit childishly done. And the most recent set was whites, all white on white. Dots and dashes… and “Morse code?”

That got Jim to smile as he moved his head up finally, he didn’t say anything though, just shifted his legs and then refocused on his work. It looked like he was working on the second to last egg.

Sebastian hunkered down a bit, squatting to look closer but not touching the eggs. With Jim’s love of all things deadly and the intense concentration he had personally invested in these eggs, he wasn’t going to touch the eggs without being expressly told to.

"Hunt. Quickly. Now my Dear…" Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Another game with that damn detective?" He straightened and stepped right next to the larger TV tray. "Seriously Jim, what is the trap this time? I swear, you should just mess with him by doing a puzzle that doesn’t harm anyone and he looks like a fool."

Jim abruptly stopped painting at that comment and looked up with a slack jawed and dumbstruck appearance. Sebastian quirked an eyebrow as Jim carefully set down the egg, then stood up with pops from both knees. Sebastian watched, a bit tensed as Jim stepped forward, then with a maniacal grin grabbed Sebastian’s head with both paint splattered hands and pulled him down for a thorough kiss.

Sebastian went with it- almost three weeks since he’d gotten any, plus the man may be mad but he had charisma and skill in spades. He blinked again as Jim pulled back and cackled. It was the only word for it.

"It’s brilliant, isn’t it! He’ll be racing around the parks, and never realizing the only dangerous eggs are the first ones set where he will get to them first!"

Sebastian laughed and managed a small head shake in the loose hold Jim kept on his face. “Really? That’s utterly genius. He’ll never believe that until afterwards either.”

Jim just laughed again and tugged at Sebastian’s jacket and shirt, not caring that he was getting bits of paint on the clothes. “Seb, bed. Now.”

Oh it was good to be home.

—-

About four hours later Sebastion wandered into the kitchen to grab something to eat and stopped. His kitchen was an utter disaster and when he checked the fridge, every shelf was filled with pallets of eggs.

The smiley face note to only eat a few of them was taped to a bowl with cracked but still dyed eggs, and below that note was another note with a frowny face saying to not eat the white or painted ones… Yeah, Jim had missed him.

He grinned as he grabbed a couple of the red and lavender colored eggs from the bowl to munch on.

Jim came up with a brilliant evil plan, he got great sex and while there was food dye and paint flecks everywhere and every pot he owned had at least some egg residue from cracked eggs that had been boiled in them… life was good.


End file.
